Male Breast Cancer: A Rare But Real Experience

Breast cancer is not typically associated with men, who comprise less than 1% of all cases. Yet male breast cancer does exist. We spoke with Kenneth, a 52-year-old father of two, to get a male perspective on breast cancer.

An Unexpected Diagnosis
In March 2021, I found a lump on my right nipple. It was not painful, but felt uncomfortable and sensitive to the touch. I googled and found that it could be due to many things, as breast cancer is rare for men. So I procrastinated for a month before I saw a GP for peace of mind.

The GP referred me to SGH. The doctor there suspected breast cancer and ordered a biopsy on the day itself. I had to wait one week for the result, and the lump turned out to be cancerous.

“I found a lump on my right nipple. It was not painful, but felt uncomfortable and sensitive to the touch.”

A Terrible Day …
I felt shocked. But the good news was that, happily, the mammogram and X-rays didn’t show any spread. Just to be sure, the doctor recommended an MRI and bone scan. The bone scan showed something on my left femur, and I had to do another biopsy. If it had spread to the femur, it would be considered stage 4 cancer. That was a terrible day.

What made it worse was that the original breast surgeon was on leave during this period. The news was given to me by a stand-in doctor, who seemed very uncomfortable when explaining all this to me. That made the experience even more traumatising.

“If it had spread to the femur, it would be considered stage 4 cancer.”

… Followed by a Terrible Two Weeks

I had to wait a week to do the bone biopsy, and one more week for the result. It was a terrible two weeks. There was a lot of anxiety. I had dreams at night and would wake up in the middle of the night.

During these two weeks, I could not bring myself to talk to anyone about my condition except my two supervisors at work and my family. I did not share the news even with close friends, except for one church friend who had gone through breast cancer herself.

“I had dreams at night and would wake up in the middle of the night … Panic attacks would hit me in the middle of the day and my heart would beat very fast.”

Panic Attacks
Panic attacks would hit me in the middle of the day and my heart would beat very fast. I’d watch people walk past and feel unsure how long more I’d be in this world.

My daughter taught me deep breathing. She said that when my mind focused on breathing, it would not be able to think about anything else. When I felt panicked, I would take deep breaths and hold them. This helped to take my mind off the cancer at the worst moments.

Continuing to work also helped to relieve the stress. Zoom meetings left me feeling energised. It was when I wasn’t busy that the anxiety returned.

“When I felt panicked, I would take deep breaths and hold them. This helped to take my mind off the cancer at the worst moments.”

The Blessings of Work, Family and Friends

This was during the pandemic, and so I was working from home. Thankfully my parents are healthy, and they visited me every day to bring lunch. I felt much better during the two hours that they were with me. Once they left, I felt depressed and lonely again.

A small group of close friends whom I’d told prayed for me. Their prayers and messages also helped me to get through these terrible two weeks.

Light at the End of the Tunnel
Finally, the results of the bone biopsy showed that the area in my femur was not cancerous. I was very happy and still remember the date – 25 May 2021. This was when everything started to stabilise and look up, with the certainty that the cancer was contained to the breast and had not spread. The final diagnosis was stage 2 breast cancer, to be treated with surgery followed by preventive chemotherapy.

I actually looked forward to the day surgery. During the surgery, they would test the lymph nodes and surrounding tissue to check if the cancer had spread. So there was still some anxiety going into the surgery. However, after surgery I got the excellent news that there was no spread.

“I actually looked forward to the day surgery … [A]fter surgery I got the excellent news that there was no spread.”

Road to Recovery

The three-week recovery period after the surgery was a little troublesome. On a daily basis, I had to monitor and measure the blood still flowing from the wound. Every few days, the dressing had to be changed. Luckily my mum is a nurse and was able to help.

Chemotherapy included four sessions, with one every three weeks. Side effects were not that bad, just flu-like symptoms with fatigue and loss of appetite. The main adjustment was having to wear a wig to hide the hair loss as I didn’t want to invite any questions. Later, when I told my colleagues about the wig, they said they couldn’t tell the difference!

Since completing chemotherapy in October 2021, I’ve been on tamoxifen medication and will have to take one tablet a day for the next five years.

“The main adjustment was having to wear a wig to hide the hair loss as I didn’t want to invite any questions.”

Advice for Others
I never expected this to happen to me. A year before my cancer diagnosis, an insurance agent suggested increasing my critical illness coverage but I didn’t see the need to. My mindset was that I would be okay and could continue working, and thankfully this was the case. But if the cancer had been more serious and I’d had to stop work, my coverage would not have been enough to replace my income. So do consider covering yourself adequately.

Also, do regular self-examinations. After relatives were told about my experience, my wife’s 70-year-old aunt started to examine herself. She found a lump in her breast three weeks later and got it checked. She says that if not for me, she might not have caught the stage 2 cancer so early.

In terms of coping strategies, what helped me most was meditation and deep breathing. Learning how to be present in the moment helped me to let go of my thoughts and worries. Having someone to guide me through this process was very useful.

“I never expected this to happen to me … Learning how to be present in the moment helped me to let go of my thoughts and worries.”

If you or someone you know has cancer and would like an experienced coach to guide you through the process, do book a free introductory meeting with one of our coaches at Three Points Cancer Coach.